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CARA MIA

"So, where do you guys normally take my daughter after posing for a trade photo such as this one?" asks Alessia Cara's dad, Vinnie, of team Def Jam, adding, "Bear in mind as you formulate your answer that I could easily toss all of you across the room." "Well," replied EVP Promo Nicki Farag, "Ah, typically, we, ah, go to a soda shop for a root beer float and, ah, some wholesome jukebox selections, then we, um, all go home early for a glass of warm milk and a heartwarming family film." Seen fervently hoping the knock at the door isn't the delivery kid from the dispensary with 11 boxes of reeking weed are Vinnie, EVP Rhythm Promo Noah Sheer, National Mix Show Director/West Coast Regional Sonny D, Cara, Farag, EVP PR Gabe Tesoriero, Director of Publicity Renata Muniz, promo coordinator Michael Jackson (no relation) and SVP Promo Keith Rothschild.

SPRING BREAKOUTS: THESE HEATERS ARE STILL HOT
Who's Boomin who. (4/25a)
SONG REVENUE: “SWEET” SMELLS OF SUCCESS
Life after "Church" (4/25a)
THE COUNT: ALL THE DESERT'S A STAGE
Jon Wayne is rolling over in his grave. (4/25a)
THE ODDS ON TUCKER WETMORE
Who's gonna get him? (4/25a)
GONE COUNTRY: HOUSE LIPMAN INVESTS IN WESTERN WEAR
The full Monte (4/25a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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