GONE FISSION

This photo of a former U.S. President who was an expert in nuclear physics yet never felt compelled to steal top-secret papers related to nuclear weapons is brought to you by the forthcoming HITS 36th Anniversary Special, your annual reminder that (a) we suck and (b) we have boxes and boxes of documents to prove it. Shortly after this tableau was captured, Jimmy Carter told A&M visionaries Jerry Moss and Herb Alpert that during particularly intense cabinet meetings, Cyrus Vance would do a naughty dance to "Love Potion No. 9." Now, if you'll excuse us, we're going to slather ourselves in whipped cream and settle in for the weekend.