Shecky’s departure leaves a sizable vacuum at the cesspool (which is badly in need of vacuuming, come to think of it)—so sizable, in fact, that it will take not one but two Senior Editors to even attempt to fill it, the incumbent Jon O’Hara, who has reluctantly agreed to expand his duties, and Bud Scoppa, who just as reluctantly returns after his unceremonious departure in mid-2003. It’s his third tour of duty. “This is a living nightmare,” Scoppa explains. “Urp,” adds O’Hara. “Me editurr purdy werdz, pikchurz make maggazene. Yay.”
Commented Editor in Chief Lenny Beer, “Who are these idiots and why am I paying them?” Calls to Publisher Dennis Lavinthal weren’t immediately returned.
THE MUSIC OF CLIVE COMES ALIVE AT CARNEGIE HALL
That's what friends are for. (5/1a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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