RIP Todd's chair

TODD HENSLEY’S CHAIR, which has housed the ass of HITS’ President/Digital Ventures since at least 2002, was consigned to the great crap-heap in the sky today. The SwivelMaster 9000 model chair, purchased by President of Acquisitions J.J. Garcia at Furniture Liquidators for $59, witnessed a fascinating era in the music business, during which Todd informed 3,943 people that he was totally their guy. The chair hurled itself off the HITS balcony out of shame at approximately 4:20pm PDT (causing a commotion on Lankershim Boulevard as neighborhood stoners ran to harvest the seeds from thousands of strains it scattered on the sidewalk). Todd’s shiny new chair is looking forward to following suit someday. (4/10p)