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Bristol tops Brandy on DWTS

DIRTY DANCING: This season of Dancing With the Stars has made it dramatically apparent that Brandy is an excellent dancer and that Bristol Palin is not. Nonetheless, Brandy was eliminated Tuesday night in fan voting while Bristol hangs on for the finals, going up against the far more skilled Jennifer Grey and Kyle Massey. Sarah’s sad-sack daughter couldn’t possibly win, could she? And George W. Bush couldn’t possibly get elected President—twice—could he? Be very afraid… (11/17a)

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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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