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HITTING THE HEIGHTS

Thanks to special-effects magic, freshly inked UMPG singer/songwriter Tobias Jesso, Jr. appears in this photo to loom freakishly over pubco ruler Jody Gerson. In fact, Tobias is standing on an apple box. Later, the two spun some Emitt Rhodes vinyl and then played a vicious round of half-court one-on-one.

HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/29a)
TAY RACKS UP STATS, OBLITERATES RECORDS
What did you expect? (4/29a)
HIPGNOSIS BOARD APPROVES UPPED BLACKSTONE BID
Let's make a deal. (4/29a)
SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
Another triumph for the master marketer (4/29a)
CLIVE CHATS CLIVE, CARNEGIE HALL TRIBUTE AND MORE
The ageless one is feted. (4/29a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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