O, CANADA: HEY BUDDY

Team Republic would like you to know that not only was The Weeknd's "Starboy" #1 Most Added at Pop, Rhythm, Urban and Hot AC radio in the U.S. this week, but that it was #1 all-time Most Added in North America. That, of course, adds the sprawling and frigid country known as Canada (homeland of The Weeknd) to the equation.

To achieve this milestone, VIP Lifer Charlie Walk and mountie commissioner Gary Spangler, on orders from Prime Minister Monte Lipman, trekked into the Great White North with only their heaviest coats, their team of sled dogs and a passel of Guess models. There they joined local radio hosers in a lightning hockey match, followed by a ceremonial feast of sausages with maple syrup and LaBatt's Blue. In addition to strapping on the feedbag at Hardee's outlets across the continent, the intrepid explorers rode a bear and enjoyed free government health coverage. By the time they returned, "Starboy" was in the stratosphere, eh?