FOX'S RAGGED OLD PRE-KICK SHOW

American values were venerated during the Ben Hur-length Super Bowl LI pregame telecast, which included a red carpet (seriously?).

Atlanta’s own Zac Brown Band played the new song “My Old Man,” Harry Belafonte and Olympian gymnast Simone Biles provided uplifting oration over footage of D.C. landmarks and the Constitution, and Johnny Cash’s recording of “Ragged Old Flag” was accompanied by a dramatization of Old Glory flapping patriotically through in America’s wars.

About an hour prior to kickoff, hitting Shazam resulted in the app sending a user to a Pepsi/Lady Gaga VR ad without id’ing the song. We got it the first time trying to get the title for a tune used in a Scientology (!?) ad.

In the pregame packages, Fox used a sync of Johnny Nash’s version of “Stir It Up,” James Brown’s “Papa Don’t Take No Mess” and Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer,” while also tapping current alt-rock with Hamilton Leithauser + Rostam’s “1000 Times.”

B.O.B.’s “Don’t Let Me Fall” played under an interview with Falcons QB Matt Ryan; The Turtles’ “Happy Together” accompanied celebrities’ love letters to Tom Brady.

DJ Khaled, John Travolta and Weird Al were among the celebrities involved in a lame spoof of fans set to Garth Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places.”

In the pregame commercials, most notable was Mercedes’ use of Sleeping at Last’s cover of Bob Dylan’s “Make You Feel My Love.”

Just before kickoff, Luke Bryan offered a blessedly straightforward reading of the National Anthem. Luke blazed through it in 2 min. 5 secs. You win if you played the under.