LYOR GAZES INTO
THE FUTURE

Look at that spiritual demeanor, that soulful, contemplative expression. Is he looking deep within as he posts his random reflections on Snapchat? Is he summoning a solution to YouTube's measly payouts from the farthest outposts of his consciousness? Is he napping? Many who've worked with or for him would argue that he's only lying when his eyes and mouth are open, but others aren't so sure. In a related story, if you take the number of 300 artists who aren't suing him and multiply it times zero, you can calculate your next YouTube payment.

BACK TO RUMOR MILL

		UMG AND TIKTOK WORK IT OUT The kerfuffle is in the past. (5/2a) Check It Out Now LUCIAN SOUNDS OFF ON UMG/TIKTOK DEAL A breakdown from the boss (5/2a) Check It Out Now HITS LIST: HANGIN' OUT With extra relish (5/3a) Check It Out Now LIVE NATION POSTS (ANOTHER) RECORD QUARTER More butts in seats than ever before. (5/3a) Check It Out Now A POST-WALLEN AFFAIR A dynamic duo, y'all (5/3a) Check It Out Now
		THE NEW UMG Gosh, we hope there are more press releases. TIKTOK BANNED! Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is. THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT No, not that one. TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST Now 100% unlicensed!

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LYOR GAZES INTOTHE FUTURE

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LYOR GAZES INTO
THE FUTURE