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IRONSTACHE PLUS IRONY

Congressional aspirant Randy "Ironstache" Bryce, who's mounting a challenge to Republican majority leader Paul Ryan, compounds the indignity of watching his hometown Bucks lose to the Clippers by getting corralled into a photo with two dudes from HITS. "Do you know Stormy?" queried Editor in Chief Lenny Beer, who divulged that he has developed a foolproof way to beat a polygraph by not understanding the questions. Meanwhile, Jesse Beer discreetly fired off a tweet about Jabari Parker's position on farm subsidies.

NEAR TRUTHS: INCOMPARABLE
Taylor world is an ecosystem. (5/7a)
JENNIFER KNOEPFLE: THE HITS INTERVIEW
A publishing all-star tells her story. (5/7a)
HITS LIST: HANGIN' OUT
With extra relish (5/7a)
BEEF BRINGS LAMAR BACK TO SPOTLIGHT
No longer keeping his diss-tance. (5/7a)
LIVE NATION POSTS (ANOTHER) RECORD QUARTER
More butts in seats than ever before. (5/3a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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