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"I find this star to be of poor construction and designed with every cliché imaginable," intones SYCO founder, reality-competition mastermind and international music genius Simon Cowell on the occasion of his addition to the Hollywood Walk of Fame. "Listen, mate, could you keep your voice down a bit?" asks Sony Music boss Rob Stringer. "We're right across the street from the HITS offices, and I really don't want them to know I'm here."

Meanwhile, Idol alumna Kelly Clarkson beamed and Leron Gruber of the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce wondered when to slip Cowell his demo tape.

BACK TO RUMOR MILL

		NEAR TRUTHS: CENTERS OF GRAVITY Eilish enters a powerful new creative chapter. (5/6a) Check It Out Now ON THE COVER: TAYLOR SWIFT Sorry, Tay, but we had to do it. (5/7a) Check It Out Now HITS LIST: HANGIN' OUT With extra relish (5/7a) Check It Out Now LATEST SCORES: KENDRICK VS. DRAKE Multiple lead changes in this playoff game. (5/6a) Check It Out Now LIVE NATION POSTS (ANOTHER) RECORD QUARTER More butts in seats than ever before. (5/3a) Check It Out Now
		THE NEW UMG Gosh, we hope there are more press releases. TIKTOK BANNED! Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is. THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT No, not that one. TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST Now 100% unlicensed!

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