THIS ITEM PAIRS EXCEPTIONALLY WELL WITH STRAINED CARROTS

"Hey, congrats on getting Zach on the cover, dad," proclaims Leo Bay-Schuck, scion of Warner Records CEO Aaron. "But as far as the rest of this doorstop goes, who writes this crap?" It's a fair question, but we should note that Leo is already reading at a higher level than most of our editorial staff. In a related story, HITS' 37th Anniversary Special is coming your way very soon, and Leo has already declared it "unconscionable pabulum."

TAGS: Aaron Bay-Schuck | Leo Bay-Schuck | Zach Bryan

ANNI 37: DANCING WITH THEMSELVES

ON THE COVER: ZACH BRYAN

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		NEAR TRUTHS: INCOMPARABLE Taylor world is an ecosystem. (5/8a) Check It Out Now JENNIFER KNOEPFLE: THE HITS INTERVIEW A publishing all-star tells her story. (5/8a) Check It Out Now HITS LIST: HANGIN' OUT With extra relish (5/8a) Check It Out Now BEEF BRINGS LAMAR BACK TO SPOTLIGHT No longer keeping his diss-tance. (5/8a) Check It Out Now REPUBLIC GOES 10 FOR 10 Holy mackerel, Monte! (5/8a) Check It Out Now
		THE NEW UMG Gosh, we hope there are more press releases. TIKTOK BANNED! Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is. THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT No, not that one. TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST Now 100% unlicensed!

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THIS ITEM PAIRS EXCEPTIONALLY WELL WITH STRAINED CARROTS

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