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CANADIAN BASON: Presenting the most persuasive case yet for limiting immigration: our own David Bason, Canadian-born manager extraordinaire (and by extraordinaire we mean that he has been observed to be breathing), seen here pouring rancid maple syrup over the American Dream. We, the entire staff of HITS Magazine, send out our most heartfelt congratulations to Mr. Bason for becoming a U.S. citizen; we know he'll enjoy the blessings of liberty as little as we do. (1/14p)

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		HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER VRRMMMM (5/17a) Check It Out Now NEAR TRUTHS: VARIANTS Celebrity death match underway on album chart (5/17a) Check It Out Now OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS Another talented journalist trapped in the career cul de sac (5/17a) Check It Out Now THE COUNT: LIVE NATION TAPS TYLER, POST, BLINK FOR TOP U.S. FESTS Cornering the market on surefire headliners (5/17a) Check It Out Now STAPLETON, WILSON BIG WINNERS AT THE ACMs A genre mash-up at the home of the Cowboys (5/17a) Check It Out Now
		THE NEW UMG Gosh, we hope there are more press releases. TIKTOK BANNED! Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is. THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT No, not that one. TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST Now 100% unlicensed!

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