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WHAT’S HEATING UP AS SUMMER NEARS?
The future's so hot, they gotta wear shades. (5/30a)
A STELLAR TOP 20
Better get used to this 1-2 punch. (5/30a)
THE COUNT: U.K. FEST SEASON IS HOTTER THAN AFTERNOON TEA
With sugar, please. (5/30a)
REPORT: SONY CIRCLING QUEEN CATALOG IN $1B DEAL
Will another one bite the dust? (5/30a)
NEAR TRUTHS:
HOWDY, PARTNER
Redrawing the Mason-Dixon Line (5/24a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
Blighty Beat
BRITS LIST
2/20/23

“What would you like to drink?” WMG Head of Recorded Music Max Lousada asks CEO Robert Kyncl at the BRITs. “I’ll flag down a waiter.” “No need,” replied Kyncl. “I’ve programmed a drone to bring us a tray of negronis.” Later, ChatGPT offered to write much funnier captions, which you can find at the link.

Read the AI-generated witticisms here